Updated: Jan 3, 2019
As 2018 is coming to an end, I want to finally spend some time to put more of my thoughts together in written format that can be read anywhere.
If you are reading this, thank you for coming and you made it! It is hours away from the new year and you are alive to witness it. You've made it through life's struggles!
In previous end of the years, I've always felt deep depression. Why? It's because of the holiday blues. Every year during the holidays, I always unconsciously compare my life to others. Comparing what many others have that I don't. It's a never ending thing. It's something I didn't realize till recently and what made me realize that is because I actually have those things that I've always wanted around this time. This story will have to be for another time but I am happy at this very moment. Even more when I think of all the fun and amazing things I've done and accomplished this year.
This year was the first year that I've promoted my original character series Bae-Bees and the year that I worked even harder to grow my brand and even though the beginning was rough, I wouldn't have it any other way. When I struggled and expressed it, other artists got on board and helped me a long the way.
There were times where I was doubting how worth it will be to go through so much work. Especially when nobody believed in my work for a while. But now, people around me would bring up the name "BAE-BEE" even before I get to. It's an amazing feeling and I can't wait till people in other countries will shout that name as well!
I've dealt with a good enough amount of heartache in the past 3 years or so that I've gained this thick wall and numbness that just doesn't seem to go away. A defense mechanism that won't turn itself off. And to be honest, it's not something that I do want to turn off. It has given me this toughness that served me so well when dealing with difficult people who doesn't care about other faces besides their own. It has given me this courage. But the bad side to all this is that I can't give all my love to those that deserves it without questioning the thought of it for at least 10 times.
I am sorry to everyone who I've acted so cold to. I am sorry that I can't be there for you every time you need me. I am sorry that I can't be the old Johnson. But in the light of all this, because I am aware of all this and because I'm always taking steps to mend things, I won't fail as much as I do now.
What you can also expect in 2019 is my brand & I working even harder to get the word Bae-Bees out there some more and working to make this a full time thing. I currently work a full time job and with each passing day, I am working harder and harder to eventually leave it to pursue all this. I've been able to have some success so far this whole year since January till now is because of all the wonderful friends, families, admirers who have purchased and followed my journey this whole time. I can't thank everyone enough for the support. I wish I can express my gratitude in more fancy words!
Thanks for reading my quick thoughts and feelings at the moment. Please stay tune for more Bae-Bees, MORE blog posts and SO MUCH MORE! <3 Don't forget to check out the shop! ; )